Tuesday, May 5, 2009

warning this blog is a carthatic post and is rife with bad grammar Its simply a concious stream of thought

This post has nothing to do with fashion or design or art. Or maybe it has something to do with all of those things. See they all have a a place in my life. They give me meaning. My evolution in all of them relate to my evolution in myself. I sadly haven't even thought about fashion in the past few months. I don't know....maybe It's not me anymore. Or maybe I'm just going through a phase right now. I can't say that I've been busy. I haven't been doing anything besides drinking and wallowing in my own loneliness. Wondering when I would be truly happy again. And then I got pissed. Pissed at everyone for being happy; for being able to find peace. And for those who couldn't find peace like me. I got pissed at them too. Because they brought me into their sadness. Misery does love company though. Too bad my misery is anti social. I can't help but wonder if I even like people or if I just don't want to be left alone with my own thoughts. That's probably why I have an internet addiction. If I turned off the computer and tv and just sat by myself I wouldn't know what to do.

But, all of this is about to change. I'm going to be fruitfull this summer since I'm not going to school next semester I need to do something to keep myself busy besides working a dead end job that hopefully won't become my life. Their all pretty much pipe dreams that probably won't happen but damnit I won't let that happen. Idk if it's me being bipolar or if all the good karma I've racked up is finally helping me out. But, I've become inspired. Hell yeah. and hopefully I will have the energy to upload inspirational images i find to help me out. So yeah new creative ventures and life change.
----Work out and get the hell in shape. I'm gonna tone my skinny body and by the end of the summer ill look like a Dior homme model then I'm gonna get a tattoo to commemorate the summer....but only if i can get in shape. The tattoo is my reward
----I want to start a Salon and showcase creative endeavors of me and my friends. We have so much talent but no outlet.
----"Dinner" or that's just a tentative name for a multimedia project I want to start on. It would encompass video, photographs, sound, and installations of found objects, recording the meals I have with friends. I've had some raucous times and some great conversations. It's nothing new. But it sound interesting to work on.
-----I just recently had an idea to start a series of fictional letters to my imaginary lover that I might one day have. Somewhat modeled after french love letters during the days of royal courts and swooning aristocratic ladies.

thats enough......maybe this blog isn't about fashion anymore? Maybe it is? I don't know yet? I hope it still is?

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